Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Language of Love and Respect

As a Book Review Blogger for Thomas Nelson publishers, I occasionally get a complimentary copy of a book to review on my blog.  A couple months ago, I requested one titled The Language of Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.  I was excited to read this book because Emerson pastored the church I attended in Michigan.  Now he and his wife have a marriage ministry called Love and Respect.  Several years ago, Ryan and I attended one of his marriage conferences and read his first book entitled Love and Respect

For some reason, the book did not arrive within a month.  I contacted Thomas Nelson and was told that an error occurred.  They sent a new one out immediately.  Ironically, the book arrived just about the time Ryan and I started experiencing some difficulties in our marriage.  One of the major reasons for our troubles is that we misperceive each others' words.  This book is written to confront this situation head-on specifically stressing the communication differences between men and women.  It was previously released as Cracking the Communication Code.

I love the writing style of this book.  It is rich in principles, scripture references, illustrations and real-life examples from readers and marriage professionals.  The book begins with a "Short Course on Love and Respect" to familiarize new readers with the basic concepts of his first book and seminar.  The underlying principle is that husbands are commanded by God to unconditionally love their wives and wives to unconditionally respect their husbands.  He skillfully explains how husbands and wives can move from the "crazy cycle" and enjoy a richer marriage in the "rewarded cycle" by employing specific acts of love and respect, respectively!

The remainder of the book motivates readers to effectively communicate with their spouses with a goal of experiencing the "rewarded cycle".   Like in his first title, Emerson pulls from his Ph.D. studies in Child and Family Ecology to educate the reader on the differences between men and women, specifically in marriage and communication.  I find the writing very motivating, and the practical applications are helpful.  I especially like the basic premise throughout the book that your words need to be honoring and loving as an act of obedience to God and regardless of whether your spouse deserves it.  The wisdom in this book would benefit any marriage.  This is one worth reading!

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